Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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