Porn is love you can see.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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