In America we eat man semen.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
