Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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