he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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