I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
