we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
