Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i think i just lost a toe
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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