Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize