I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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