Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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