You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
