I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he thought i was a dude.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
