I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
