I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize