I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
