Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
