No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
