I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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