Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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