im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
