i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
