You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
