I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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