she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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