We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
