shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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