It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
