Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
