Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Alive.
So much puke
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
