whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
