He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
