i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
