her vagine was all disorganized.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
