I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
