i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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