so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
there is glitter all over my balls
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