i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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