ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
