hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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