i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
3 2 1 whiskey
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
