my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
