hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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