Umm I'm too high to move.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
