the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
