Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
