I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
