I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
