Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize