That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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