all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
