If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
