Non-Jews are for practice
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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