Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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