Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
