I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
