i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
