"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
