She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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