Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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