i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My life is pants optional.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
