i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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