i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
